Sunday, 31 March 2013

G.I. Joe Retaliation Movie Review!!!

One thing makes this movie far superior to the original!! Huge Spoiler Alert!! Read on to find out more!!!

Channing Tatum dies within the first few minutes! Woohooooo!!!  I know that may sound mean, but the guy cannot act to save his life.  Paramount in their wisdom originally figured Tatum wasn’t a strong enough lead to carry the franchise and decided to wipe him out early on.  The movie received very bad feedback at test screens and some very strange people wanted more Tatum, hence the movie was withdrawn from the 2012 summer line up.  Tatum was called back to film some extra scenes, probably at a much higher premium cost, showing the camaraderie and friendship between Duke and Roadblock.  Thankfully these scenes are miniscule and Tatum is still wiped out very early on.  The movie is all the better for it.  

Unfortunately, to my frustration, there are a handful of actors who are terrible but keep getting roles.  Tatum is one of them and Brad Pitt is another.  Never have I seen either of these two actors deliver a line that does not feel completely artificial, fake and forced.  Simply put, they cannot act.

Now let’s get into the movie.  There isn’t a great deal of plot and we don’t really need any.  Even yesterday I met someone complaining that the film doesn’t have much of a story line but how much of a story do you need in a G.I. Joe movie?  Those expecting groundbreaking drama, character building, layer upon layer of thickly woven story lines should look elsewhere.  It’s like being disappointed that you can’t get your shoes polished at the dentist.  Go in with the correct expectations and you’ll have a great time, go in with the wrong expectations and you won’t.

Thanks to the nanomites from the first movie, the Mummy (Arnold Vosloo) is in the Whitehouse disguised as the president, the real president (Jonathan Pryce) all the while being held captive in some basement bunker by Cobra bad guys.  Under orders from the fake president, a hit is sent out after the Joe’s, wiping out all but a few.  The Rock as Roadblock (Block for short), Adrianne Palicki as Jaye and D.J. Cotrona as Flint manage to survive the hit.  Did I mention that Duke played by Channing Tatum dies??

Adrianne Palicki as Jaye

They regroup with Snake Eyes (Ray Park), Jinx (Elodie Yung) and last but not least General Joe Colton (Bruce Willis) to try and save the day in true Hollywood Blockbuster style.  It’s a lot of fun.

The movie hurries along at a fast pace leaving little time to be bored.  The action set pieces include an impressive mountainside fight, the pretty fantastic destruction of London and a satisfying finale where each of the Joe’s play to their strengths.  It’s mindless but it’s fun.

Pryce is clearly enjoying himself in his villainous role as the fake president and The Rock is as charismatic as ever.  I was really glad to see The Rock take the lead in this.  Despite his wrestling roots and a few bad movie choices, he is actually severely underrated and deserves a good action franchise to call his own.  G.I. Joe maybe what he needs to get back on track. 

Special mention needs to be made of Storm Shadow played by Byung-hun Lee.  The coolest character from the first movie returns and his scenes with Snake Eyes in this sequel are some of the best scenes in the movie.  The rest of the characters serve as mostly fillers to flesh out the two opposing teams.

The post-production 3D conversion is hit and miss.  There is never that great depth you can expect with movies actually filmed in 3D but there were a few moments that actually made me jump as I thought I’d just been shot in the head.

All in all this is a pretty fun night at the movies.  Worth the price of admission and it does exactly what it says on the tin.  So much so, that I’m looking more forward to the next G.I. Joe movie than I am the next Transformers movie.

Check it out.

Rating 3.5 out of 5.


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