Think it's time to pop the question? Not sure what to do? Featured in Yahoo News as one of their favourite proposal videos, here's a few tips from Bobby Stryker to help you get the answer you want! Good luck!!!
On August 3rd 2013,
I proposed to the most amazing woman I’ve ever met, the scarily smart and
talented Juliana Chong of www.ilovebunny.net.
Now a year and a half later, I feel like I’m the happiest man
alive. We tied the knot last year and I
swear, there really is nothing better than waking up next to the person of your
dreams every day.
I used to love hearing about
how my dad met my mother, how they tied the knot, what life was like when I was
born. Sadly they don’t have any photos
or videos of their wedding so I will never really know what it was like. With this in mind, when I proposed to
Juliana, I wanted to make sure the moment was caught on video. I really wanted to immortalize the moment so
that we could both look back and reminisce about it, as we grow old together,
as well as share the moment with our families and future children. It is a moment which we now both hold very close
to our hearts.
The video was uploaded to
YouTube so we could show our family and friends without the need to lug around
DVDs and thumb drives. What I didn’t
anticipate is that other people would enjoy watching the video too. I suddenly had guys asking me for advice and
women asking me to talk to their boyfriends and advise them on how to propose.
So here it is, for your viewing pleasure, my proposal video:
So here it is, for your viewing pleasure, my proposal video:
No one was more shocked than
me when Yahoo News featured my proposal as one of their favourites: https://sg.news.yahoo.com/9-proposals-singapore-definitely-yes-080027805.html?linkId=11677640
I really don’t know if I did
anything out of the normal and I definitely don’t claim to be an expert on the
matter, after all, I’ve only proposed once in my lifetime. If you look at what I did, you can see that
actually it’s a pretty understated affair compared to some of the things you
can find online.
Here are some of the things I
felt I had to do. They were right for me
and who knows, maybe there’s something useful in here for you too.
DISCLAIMER – I TAKE
ABSOLUTELY NO RESPONSIBILITY IF THINGS GO WRONG FOR YOU AFTER READING MY POST!
HAHA!!
1. She’s the One
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Marry the woman of your dreams! Now this may sound like common sense, but
common sense hasn’t actually been common since the age of the dinosaurs.
When I started thinking about
proposing to Jules, I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with her. We had talked about growing old together but
I had never explicitly mentioned anything about proposing or getting
married. But despite this, deep down, I
knew that if I asked her to marry me she would say yes, simply because we were
so in love.
I think this is really
important. If you are not sure about whether
your other half would say yes or if you have doubts about whether your partner
is ‘the one’ then she might not be. Only
you can figure out this conundrum.
All I can say on the matter
is don’t short change yourself! Don’t
make the mistake of marrying someone out of desperation or fear of being alone,
that’s a recipe for disaster and chances are you’ll end up in Splitsville.
You only have one shot at
life so if your gal doesn’t make you feel that true inner happiness, the kind
of happiness a kid feels opening his presents on Christmas day, then you’ve
really gotta ask yourself if she’s the one.
2. Escape Plan
Now you’ll hear a lot of
people say that a proposal should be something private, between you and your
wife-to-be, or that planning something extravagant is just attention seeking
behavior. Well, I don’t think that’s
necessarily true.
Think about it like
this. Most guys don’t do much for their
gals on a day-to-day basis. There’s no
point denying it, most guys are lazy! So
do you really want the day you propose to be the same as any other lazy
day? It risks giving the impression that
it doesn’t mean much to you, that your intentions are perhaps not sincere, that
maybe you don’t even love her. Basically
it’s just not very nice.
This is probably going to be
the only big surprise you will ever need to plan in your life so if you still
can’t be bothered to put in some effort, then that speaks volumes about your
character and your relationship.
What are you really saying if
you ask her to marry you while you’re in your singlet and flip flops on the way
to the supermarket? Where’s the
passion? Where’s the romance??
It is exactly because men are
so lazy, that if we do plan something and do something special, even if it’s
small, it still means so much to our other halves! It shows you’re willing to go that extra mile
for the woman of your dreams, even if it means going out of your comfort
zone. She will appreciate it.
You may have a girlfriend who
is really practical, who says she doesn’t like flowers and surprises, they
might say the whole getting down on one knee routine is cheesy but I’ve never
met anyone who wasn’t touched and happy afterwards. It’s just the right thing to do.
3. Father of the Bride
As scary as it was on the
actual day of the proposal, nothing beats how I felt when I spoke to Juliana’s
father to ask him for his permission and blessing to ask for Juliana’s hand in
marriage.
I understand that this is not
common practice here in Singapore but it was definitely the right thing to do
and something I strongly encourage all guys to do before they pop the question. It’s respectful and will leave you in good
standing with the parents.
Juliana’s father gave me not
only his permission and blessing, but also his promise that he’d kill me if I
ever hurt Jules! Haha!
He also helped me rally the
rest of the family and ensure the surprise was kept a surprise.
4. The Lord of the Rings
Now I’m gonna tell you right
from the get-go, there is so much advice out there about buying engagement
rings and actually it’s mostly garbage.
You’ll read articles telling
you to spend 2-3 months salary, you should look for this and that, but at the
end of the day it’s all pretty meaningless.
I don’t believe you can be so
logical when it comes to matters of the heart.
Remember, if she says yes or
not depends on who your are and where you guys are in your relationship. Proposing with a giant rock will not increase
the chances of her saying yes and actually may reduce your chances of success, especially
if you’ve spent beyond your means, if it gives the impression you are
financially reckless and spendthrift.
Remember point number one;
you should already know that she will say yes!
The proposal ring is a symbol of your commitment, not a means to buy her
affections and get her to say yes.
Spend what you think is
right, follow your heart. There is no
magic equation. Perhaps go and see a few
rings to get a feeling for how much they can cost. If a certain amount feels like it’s too
little for the love of your life, spend more, if a certain amount seems too
expensive then spend less.
Next is ring sizing. This is tricky because you obviously don’t
want to ruin the surprise. I’ve always
enjoyed wearing rings as a fashion accessory, so when Jules and I first got
together, we got a set of couple rings which we could wear casually, this already
gave me a rough idea of her ring size.
If your better half wears rings already you can look at those for
guidance on sizing too.
What about the design? Go for something special, something that
might have some significance to both of you.
Jules and I are both huge
fans of Disney’s Beauty and the Beast, in fact we love that movie so much that
we even planned certain aspects of our wedding around it.
One of the key themes of
Beauty and the Beast is the enchanted rose, so when I saw Gold Heart’s Celestial
Astralle rose style ring; I fell in love with it.
As I was out with Jules one
Sunday afternoon, I saw the poster for the ring next to a branch of Gold
Heart. I pointed to it and said to Jules
“Wow, that looks pretty cool huh”? She
agreed and I said jokingly that we should go and see what something like that
costs. We went over, she tried on a few
sizes and then we left. I said it was
just too expensive.
A month later, she asked me
if we were going to look at rings again.
I said we didn’t have the finances as we were still settling our holiday
expenses. Two months passed, three months
passed, before we knew it, a year had passed with no mention of the ring and no hint that I was planning to propose.
Little did she know, I had
bought the very ring she had tried on that day a year ago. It wasn’t easy, but thanks to a few friends
and contacts, I was able to get it!
That’s why Jules actually
proclaims I had lied to her in our proposal video because she figured there
would be no proposal coming for years! Haha!
So what about the rock? We all know that the notion of giving diamond
engagement rings is something that was manufactured by the De Beers jewellery
group years ago through clever marketing. It made people want to propose with a diamond engagement ring and of course prices subsequently skyrocketed. What this means, in
essence, is that diamonds are nowhere near as precious as a lot of other
stones. But the idea of a diamond engagement ring clicked with people, people liked it and that's why, to this day, diamonds remain the
stone most people associate with proposals, romance and love.
When getting your rock,
people go on about the 4Cs – Carat, Colour, Cut and Clarity.
Carat sizing refers to how
big the diamond is and small increments in size equate to pretty huge increases
in price.
For white diamonds, the
colours are graded as shown in this chart.
Once a diamond is set in a
ring, it assumes the colour of the metal the ring is made of. So the colour of the diamond isn’t as
important as people think and only really noticeable when the stones are loose
and side-by-side. Once the stone has
been put into a ring, whether the diamond is colourless ‘D’ or near colourless
‘J’, you won’t be able to tell the difference!
But it makes a huge difference to the overall cost.
Now unless your wife to be is
a scientist and has her own microscope (good luck Lawrence), then clarity is
also something you may be able to sacrifice on when choosing your diamond. Tiny inclusion bodies, wisps and feathering
simply aren’t visible to the naked human eye.
Some diamond brands state
their stones have fancy cuts with a million more facets than other brands,
claiming to sparkle and scintillate more in the light than other rocks. Diamond companies state that a small well cut
diamond will sparkle more and be more visible from across the room as your glamorous
fiancée comes down the stairs into the ball room compared to a giant but poorly
cut diamond.
Most of the time this is
fancy marketing but of course there are always exceptions, so go and see for
yourself if the diamonds look more sparkly or not. Remember, the lighting in jewellery shops is
specifically set up to make diamonds sparkle and look brighter so this may not reflect
how the diamond will look in real life.
So that pretty much sums up
all you need to know about diamond proposal rings! Of course you could always do something more unique and go for a sapphire, emerald, ruby or other precious stone.
Happy hunting!
5. The Bank Job
You don’t have to spend loads
of money to plan a decent proposal!!!
It doesn’t have to be
anything crazy, you don’t need to do a 10 million people flash mob proposal in
Changi prison or whatever. You just need
to do something from the heart, something that you think would be special for
the two of you.
That means no damn HDB
proposal (non-Singaporeans Google it)!!! And also no proposal planner!!!! If you can’t be bothered to plan your own
proposal, the only thing that you will ever really need to plan to surprise the
love of your life, then shame on you!
Remember it’s the thought
that counts, so if you didn’t put any thought into it and let someone else do
all the thinking and planning for you, then she probably won’t put a lot of
thought into it when she answers your big question.
I proposed to Jules at
Capella Hotel in Sentosa. We celebrated
our first anniversary at Capella so it’s a place that has some special meaning
for us.
I know what you must be thinking;
it’s a really expensive hotel! But do you
know how much it cost me?? Nothing! That’s right, I called Capella and said I
wanted to propose to my girlfriend and asked if we could do it outside their
bar with a view of the ocean and sunset, and guess what - they said yes!
In the end it wasn’t a huge
extravaganza or anything, there weren’t thousands of people there, just the
people that mattered to us.
6. The Proposal
Now it was time to set the
wheels into motion.
I got my friend to set up a
fake Facebook event page inviting Jules and I to a James Bond themed sunset
cocktail party with our friends at Bob’s Bar (no affiliation =) at Capella. I even scripted what he should write for the event
description. This was all just an excuse
for me to wear a tuxedo and look smart when I proposed without having Jules
suspect anything. Not bad eh =P
I was almost sabotaged on the
actual day, as my friend who set up the Facebook event page wasn’t even in
Singapore on the actual day! He was in
the US and started checking into different locations – which would've been a dead
giveaway seeing as he’s supposed to be hosting the party. Thankfully we managed to get him to take down
his revealing check-ins before Jules saw anything! Phew!!
I knew how much Jules values
her parents and family so it was important that they were there when I
proposed. I knew that her family would
also appreciate this, especially as they were not too happy when someone else
in Juliana’s family had gotten engaged a short while before without informing
anyone in the family. I didn’t want to
make the same mistake, I wanted to do things right.
Next step was to plan my
speech. I spent months rehearsing it in
the shower or whenever I was alone. Make it count, make it touching, remind her of the good times, remind her how much she means to you and why you can't live without her! Then don't forget to get down on one knee. I even practiced doing this beforehand so I wouldn't fall over and make a fool of myself on the big day. Once in position, pop the question! =) If she says yes then place the engagement ring on her left hand ring finger (the finger next to the little finger). Then kiss her dummy! You don't need me to spell out everything! =P
The date was quickly approaching.
The date was quickly approaching.
As we pulled up to Capella in
our taxi on the big day, I could see that we were being filmed. This was it, I was going to propose and I was
nervous as hell!!
7. Picture Perfect
I know I’ve already said this
but I can’t stress it enough, get someone to film or video your proposal. It will be over in the blink of an eye like
these special moments always are but at least you will have something to look
back at and laugh or maybe even cry.
I called in Juliana’s long
time friend and colleague, Yong Thye.
The guy is a genius, I told him what I wanted and he went way above and
beyond my expectations.
He’s so good that we even
brought him to Paris to make our fairytale wedding movie. The movie was deemed the most romantic fairytale wedding entrance video ever by popular Singapore website, Stomp: http://singaporeseen.stomp.com.sg/singaporeseen/this-urban-jungle/check-out-the-most-romantic-fairytale-wedding-entrance-video-ever
Check it out:
Check it out:
And of course we simply
couldn’t have anyone else as our actual day wedding videographer.
8. The Princess Diaries 2: Royal Engagement
 |
| Thanks to our friend Genette for capturing this moment |
She said YES!!! =D
So there you go, this is how
I planned my proposal. Hope you’ve
enjoyed the ride as much as I have.
Good luck for your own
proposal buddy! I wish you a blissful engagement
and can’t wait to see your own proposal video soon =P
All you gotta do now is plan
the wedding! Haha!!
I’d like to give a big
shout-out to everyone who helped to make my dream proposal and wedding come
true! Seb, Alice, Keeb, our brothers and
sisters! We love you guys!
Signing off,
Bobby
PS – Next time I’ll give you
the rundown on how to survive wedding planning!
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